This summer will be my fifth year anniversary with ME/CFS. Up until recently, I have maintained the attitude that there was a slight chance I might recover on my own. I had read stories about people who recovered, especially within the first three or four years. There was even a small place in the back of my mind that hoped my case of ME/CFS was really just an extended case of post viral syndrome. I could see from statistics I found online, and from interacting with other patients, that this hope was thin. But it was easy to maintain that hope as I was gradually improving, albeit at a glacial pace.
As I have written recently, my health with ME/CFS seems to have peaked in March, 2015. Since then, I have been sliding backwards. I think and hope that I may have found the bottom of this backsliding, but that is still an open question.
Sometime in the last 6 to 8 months, my attitude evolved. I stopped hoping that my illness might all be temporary. I don't mean this to sound glum. There is, of course, always some hope. But now my view is that the peak I experienced in March, 2015, may represent my realistic ceiling. I will of course keep looking for answers, trying various treatments, and reading about the latest research. I still have a tremendous amount of hope that research will lead to more effective treatments. I feel it's healthy to occasionally reassess where I am on my journey with ME/CFS and adjust expectations accordingly.