Monday, May 21, 2012

Unpredictability of crashes - the upside

I'm starting to realize that recovery from crashes can be just as unpredictable as their onset.

Last week I was crashed all week--which, for me, means barely being able to drag myself into work and back home again.  Whether this crash was a reaction to the increased dose of Equilibrant, or just another crash, I'll address in another post.

On Thursday, my wife, daughter and I boarded an airplane for a weekend trip to San Francisco.  The trip was to involve a wedding on Saturday, a family reunion on Sunday, and the usual rigors of travel.

So there I was in the airport on Thursday, in the midst of a crash, thinking that my prospects for pulling out of the crash seemed dim.  Some people say you have to be a little crazy to travel with an infant, and here I was attempting it in the middle of a crash.  It seemed so many factors were working against me:

-Already in a crash
-Lugging baggage through long airport concourses
-About to face the crash-inducing altitude of air travel
-...plus the dirty cabin air
-...followed by 2+ days of driving all over the Bay Area.

But to my surprise, the crash gradually began to lift starting Saturday morning.  By the time the wedding began on Saturday afternoon, I felt pretty decent.  Of course, drinking and dancing were out of the question, but I found that I didn't miss them as much as I'd expected.  I even attended the informal after-party at a local bar.  Still, I thought, the odds are that this will catch up to me the following morning.

Well, it didn't, and I felt just as lively at Sunday's family reunion.  We're back home in Southern California now and the rigors of the trip don't seem to have taken a toll on me.  I don't know what to make of it.  Every time I think I'm starting to figure out ME's patterns, its cause/effect relationships, it surprises me.

For now, all I can do is remember to be thankful and to enjoy every second of these times when I'm not crashed.


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